Yay! but....disappointed

So today's my birthday, I'm 22! (granted I've felt 22 for a few weeks now, but it's official, woo hoo). I feel like it's a good thing not to be 21 anymore, mostly because of the stigma that goes with being 21. You know, that all you want to do is drink and party and sleep around, that sort of thing. Well, I never really did any of those things to begin with, so i guess i wasn't really ever your typical 21 year old.

There were some things though, that I told myself when I was younger that I would have done by 21. Well, mostly I hoped to have a relationship that lasted longer than a month, but God knows that I can't seem to do that. Also, at 18, I told myself that i wanted to lose my virginity by 21 at least. Well, here i am, 22, and still a virgin. Granted I've had some good times, but since I've never really been with anyone for a long period of time...yeah, I've never gone that far. I don't know if i regret it or not though. I mean, it kinda sucks to be a 22 year old virgin, but at the same time, I still have it. (although i don't really know what having it means, people put a lot of emphasis on having it, like it's some big important deal, a prize to be won or something. I really don't get it, it's never meant anything like that to me. Why should I save it? I honestly don't understand why it's that much of a big deal.)

I also thought at 22 I wouldn't be living with my mother. Yeah, well, we can all see how that went. i didn't think i'd have this much debt either.

Oh well. I'm happy it's my birthday, but at the same time it's still a little depressing, because of the conditions I've put on myself. I guess that's kind of my own fault. I sort of try to plan the future before I know a damn thing about what's going to happen. (ironically, this happens a lot. I am friends and i get into relationships with people I never thought i would be with. I've changed a lot over the years, and I think i'm mature enough to understand that God will give me someone when it's time, and it probably won't be the person that I think it's gonna be. they aren't going to look like what I think they'll look like, but it won't matter. Although i wish God would hurry up. I'm sorta getting tired of waiting and being the one left out all the time.

So that's my birthday post. Happy and sad. woo hoo

Oh, and here's a picture of my cake:


It's an ice cream cake from dairy queen! I'm not allowed to eat it yet (despite the fact that i ordered it, picked it up, AND paid for it), but i'm sure it's yummy!