I think I'm going crazy

I love my bed. People sometimes sit around and think of that one place on earth where they would love to be for the rest of their lives, or their favorite vacation spot, blah blah blah. You know what? I like my bed. When I have a day off, I like to spend it in bed. I spend most of the time I'm not working here. If I had a vacation, I'd want to sleep in my own bed. There is one place that is awesome (totally church camp) but it doesn't really live up to me being alone in my bed.

This, coupled by the fact that there are certain things going through my head, make me think my meds need to be upped, or I need new ones or something. Want examples? I got 'em.

I make a list of things I need to do at work. It bothers me when I don't get them done, or when I have to do other things, or when people do stuff on my list, and they don't ask. I really have no idea why.

I've had a couple of instances where I have felt panic attack-y at work lately.

Weird shit has been going through my head: I feel like my boss is trying to sabotage my work schedule and make my life hell. Granted I know this is probably not true, but in my head, it makes sense.

I don't like people touching my pies. Yes, i am aware how crazy this sounds.

I feel like my car is invisible and people keep cutting me off for no reason. Sometimes I feel people do stuff on the road just to spite me. Logically again, I know this is not true, but my head makes me feel a little paranoid.

I have issues when people touch my stuff. My mom comes into my room and cleans things, it throws me into mild panic attack mode. In the past (read: in the past year), she has cleaned stuff up in my room, and I've had to come home and cry because of how much it bugged me. I don't like people touching my stuff, even if it is trash.

That is one of the biggest problems I have living at home right now: I put something somewhere and someone else moves it, and I can't find it, or it takes me too long, and it just BUGS me. I can't explain it anymore than that, I just have a hard time dealing with it.

I don't like change. I honestly have a hard time dealing with a situation if it is planned and someone changes it.

I like to do things alone. I like shopping alone, going out to eat alone, driving alone, watching tv alone, and being alone with my thoughts while I work. Lately people have been bugging me.

I really like spending time in my room alone. It makes me happy. I feel like I'm not doing friend duties lately because I love being alone so much. I don't WANT to talk to people sometimes, I want to sit here alone in my room and be with my thoughts.

I'm thinking that becoming a spinster is a good idea.

I like sleep. Sleeping like 12 hours a day is wonderful in my eyes. I find nothing wrong with this.

Sometimes I feel the world is plotting against me. No one in particular, just in general. I know, in the sane part of my head, that this does not make sense, but the slightly going nuts part of my head is starting to push these feelings on me.


I know I sound crazy, and I know I should visit a doctor. But I don't want him to commit me because I sound insane. I dunno. Suggestions?