I love my bed. People sometimes sit around and think of that one place on earth where they would love to be for the rest of their lives, or their favorite vacation spot, blah blah blah. You know what? I like my bed. When I have a day off, I like to spend it in bed. I spend most of the time I'm not working here. If I had a vacation, I'd want to sleep in my own bed. There is one place that is awesome (totally church camp) but it doesn't really live up to me being alone in my bed.
This, coupled by the fact that there are certain things going through my head, make me think my meds need to be upped, or I need new ones or something. Want examples? I got 'em.
I make a list of things I need to do at work. It bothers me when I don't get them done, or when I have to do other things, or when people do stuff on my list, and they don't ask. I really have no idea why.
I've had a couple of instances where I have felt panic attack-y at work lately.
Weird shit has been going through my head: I feel like my boss is trying to sabotage my work schedule and make my life hell. Granted I know this is probably not true, but in my head, it makes sense.
I don't like people touching my pies. Yes, i am aware how crazy this sounds.
I feel like my car is invisible and people keep cutting me off for no reason. Sometimes I feel people do stuff on the road just to spite me. Logically again, I know this is not true, but my head makes me feel a little paranoid.
I have issues when people touch my stuff. My mom comes into my room and cleans things, it throws me into mild panic attack mode. In the past (read: in the past year), she has cleaned stuff up in my room, and I've had to come home and cry because of how much it bugged me. I don't like people touching my stuff, even if it is trash.
That is one of the biggest problems I have living at home right now: I put something somewhere and someone else moves it, and I can't find it, or it takes me too long, and it just BUGS me. I can't explain it anymore than that, I just have a hard time dealing with it.
I don't like change. I honestly have a hard time dealing with a situation if it is planned and someone changes it.
I like to do things alone. I like shopping alone, going out to eat alone, driving alone, watching tv alone, and being alone with my thoughts while I work. Lately people have been bugging me.
I really like spending time in my room alone. It makes me happy. I feel like I'm not doing friend duties lately because I love being alone so much. I don't WANT to talk to people sometimes, I want to sit here alone in my room and be with my thoughts.
I'm thinking that becoming a spinster is a good idea.
I like sleep. Sleeping like 12 hours a day is wonderful in my eyes. I find nothing wrong with this.
Sometimes I feel the world is plotting against me. No one in particular, just in general. I know, in the sane part of my head, that this does not make sense, but the slightly going nuts part of my head is starting to push these feelings on me.
I know I sound crazy, and I know I should visit a doctor. But I don't want him to commit me because I sound insane. I dunno. Suggestions?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
things that bug me
I feel the need to write blog posts a lot, but I never seem to have the time. So I am going to write multiple today, and you can read them all! How fun for you.
There are many things out there that don't particularity make sense to me. Here are some of them.
Memorial Day is coming up. We are making heart shaped cakes that will decorated to look like flags. Do you know what shape a flag is? rectangular. so why are we making heart shaped cakes when flags are rectangles, and we make cakes in the shape of rectangles all the time? no idea. I asked at work, apparently we love our country.
On the same note, we made heart shaped cakes for mother's day, but we won't for father's day. Apparently we don't love our fathers.
What else bugs me? Gas prices. But that's a whole different rant. Let's just go with: it's the same gas as it was in your giant tank yesterday, why does it not cost me less/more?
When people don't treat their server with respect.
When people just don't treat other people they come in contact with on a daily basis with respect. We had some really mean guy at work, and he was like yelling at us because we couldn't help him. Now, do you really think ANYONE wanted to help him after that? No. If he would have been nicer, maybe someone would have.
My phone has been lagging. I'm not entirely sure why. It bugs me. The fact that electronics do things that I don't get bugs me.
My father who feels the need to treat me like a 5 year old. He asked me the other day if I wanted to go see Thomas the Tank Engine when he was in town. Really dad? really?
I went to a movie today, and I paid $6 to get in. Now, I know on the scale of things, that really isn't that much, and it could have been a lot more. But the movie wasn't that great. I pay like $10 a month in netflix, that I can watch whenever I want, however many times I want, and however many movies I want. But I paid $6 to sit in a chair that made my butt hurt, to watch one movie with people I didn't know. This is why I don't go to the movies often.
I think this is all the things that bug me for now. On to the next rant.
There are many things out there that don't particularity make sense to me. Here are some of them.
Memorial Day is coming up. We are making heart shaped cakes that will decorated to look like flags. Do you know what shape a flag is? rectangular. so why are we making heart shaped cakes when flags are rectangles, and we make cakes in the shape of rectangles all the time? no idea. I asked at work, apparently we love our country.
On the same note, we made heart shaped cakes for mother's day, but we won't for father's day. Apparently we don't love our fathers.
What else bugs me? Gas prices. But that's a whole different rant. Let's just go with: it's the same gas as it was in your giant tank yesterday, why does it not cost me less/more?
When people don't treat their server with respect.
When people just don't treat other people they come in contact with on a daily basis with respect. We had some really mean guy at work, and he was like yelling at us because we couldn't help him. Now, do you really think ANYONE wanted to help him after that? No. If he would have been nicer, maybe someone would have.
My phone has been lagging. I'm not entirely sure why. It bugs me. The fact that electronics do things that I don't get bugs me.
My father who feels the need to treat me like a 5 year old. He asked me the other day if I wanted to go see Thomas the Tank Engine when he was in town. Really dad? really?
I went to a movie today, and I paid $6 to get in. Now, I know on the scale of things, that really isn't that much, and it could have been a lot more. But the movie wasn't that great. I pay like $10 a month in netflix, that I can watch whenever I want, however many times I want, and however many movies I want. But I paid $6 to sit in a chair that made my butt hurt, to watch one movie with people I didn't know. This is why I don't go to the movies often.
I think this is all the things that bug me for now. On to the next rant.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Oy
Due to recent events, I get to post twice in the same hour!
My dad called me about a week ago, and told me he got me practically new tires at an auction. Great, whatever. I didn't have a problem with the OLD tires, but I guess he did.
He takes my car today, puts on the new tires, and then calls and tells me to look at my car. I do. It has new hubcaps on them. I tell him this, and he gets mad. Oh no, they are not hubcaps, they are chrome blah blah blah with blah blah blah. He's going on and on, and I'm going wtf, are you kidding? YOU PUT FUCKING RIMS ON MY CAR AND EXPECTED ME TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT?
That's right people, I now have chrome rims on my car, and there is a special key so people can't steal them. And there is special tool so that I can get the damn things off if I need a tire changed. I CAN'T EVEN CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE, SERIOUSLY, WHY MAKE IT HARDER?
And then he was upset cause I wasn't excited. Dude, I'm fucking embarrassed. I have a half decent car that now has chrome rims. I'm 22, I'm GAY for christ sakes. I DON'T CARE. I feel like I'm gangster all of sudden.
Whatever dad, I will drive around with a pimped out car if it makes you happy, cause you are trying to relive YOUR childhood (cause the damn things don't fit on his car, trust me, I asked.)
Side note: I'm apparently supposed to start saving money for a new car and not pay off my credit card. So I'm supposed to put money somewhere to sit around while I have debt? Doesn't make sense to me....
My dad called me about a week ago, and told me he got me practically new tires at an auction. Great, whatever. I didn't have a problem with the OLD tires, but I guess he did.
He takes my car today, puts on the new tires, and then calls and tells me to look at my car. I do. It has new hubcaps on them. I tell him this, and he gets mad. Oh no, they are not hubcaps, they are chrome blah blah blah with blah blah blah. He's going on and on, and I'm going wtf, are you kidding? YOU PUT FUCKING RIMS ON MY CAR AND EXPECTED ME TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT?
That's right people, I now have chrome rims on my car, and there is a special key so people can't steal them. And there is special tool so that I can get the damn things off if I need a tire changed. I CAN'T EVEN CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE, SERIOUSLY, WHY MAKE IT HARDER?
And then he was upset cause I wasn't excited. Dude, I'm fucking embarrassed. I have a half decent car that now has chrome rims. I'm 22, I'm GAY for christ sakes. I DON'T CARE. I feel like I'm gangster all of sudden.
Whatever dad, I will drive around with a pimped out car if it makes you happy, cause you are trying to relive YOUR childhood (cause the damn things don't fit on his car, trust me, I asked.)
Side note: I'm apparently supposed to start saving money for a new car and not pay off my credit card. So I'm supposed to put money somewhere to sit around while I have debt? Doesn't make sense to me....
family....again
A lot of post have been about my family lately, cause I haven't decided if I want to post about my job(s) yet.
Today my sister didn't feel well, and the rule at work is if you don't feel well, try to get someone to cover your shift (which is kind of annoying sometimes, as we don't have that many skilled people, and usually there is like NO ONE.).
Right, so the first thing she does is ask me. I say no. She sighs at me, and leaves. My mother comes in and makes this whole big to do about it. I'm like have her call _ or _. and My sister's like, _ can't work, and the other _ was there this morning, and won't want to work all day.
So she cares more about the other people she works with than me? I mean, come on, my plans for the day were sleep. This is my day OFF. I don't get many of those. I worked 2 jobs for 2 days, and did NOT get enough sleep, and then I have to turn around and work 2 jobs tomorrow. Guess what, it makes me TIRED! She never wants to cover me when I'm sick, so I don't really feel that bad. Maybe I should. But maybe she should have more respect for the sister than her friends.
Today my sister didn't feel well, and the rule at work is if you don't feel well, try to get someone to cover your shift (which is kind of annoying sometimes, as we don't have that many skilled people, and usually there is like NO ONE.).
Right, so the first thing she does is ask me. I say no. She sighs at me, and leaves. My mother comes in and makes this whole big to do about it. I'm like have her call _ or _. and My sister's like, _ can't work, and the other _ was there this morning, and won't want to work all day.
So she cares more about the other people she works with than me? I mean, come on, my plans for the day were sleep. This is my day OFF. I don't get many of those. I worked 2 jobs for 2 days, and did NOT get enough sleep, and then I have to turn around and work 2 jobs tomorrow. Guess what, it makes me TIRED! She never wants to cover me when I'm sick, so I don't really feel that bad. Maybe I should. But maybe she should have more respect for the sister than her friends.
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